Emotional resilience is like a 3-legged stool, stool with each element an essential part of having a solid place to land. When one leg is shorter than the others, not only can we have an unsteady place to land, but we may even fall right off.
The art of practicing emotional resilience encompasses 3 areas:
This is the practice of offering yourself understanding and kindness when you are suffering. Self-compassion is the same as when we show compassion to others but turned inward towards ourselves. It is usually something we aren’t taught or shown as a tool as we grow up and many learn self-compassion later in life. It is something we practice. One key practice I use is to focus on our inner critic and how we speak to ourselves. Before we know how to truly embrace self-compassion, our inner critic can speak to us in harsh and disrespectful ways. Working with how you talk to yourself helps you create a blueprint of respect, kindness and compassion focus inward to one’s self. You can click here to download your Inner Critic Guide to Practicing Kindness here.
- Self- Belief:
This is the strength and magnitude of your belief in yourself to know or be able to find the answers. It is a trust in your own abilities and judgements. Here at the website of Mindvalley.com, they outline the benefits of having self-belief. Allowing yourself to make mistakes, learn and grow from opportunity and believing in the goals you set. “If you believe you can reach your goals, then your mind operates with the highest possible amount of receptivity to detect opportunities.”
Building self-belief comes with understanding your mindset around goals, your abilities, and how flexible your thinking is. Any limiting beliefs you may have prevent you from building a strong sense of your abilities. One key practice is to simply begin acknowledging your accomplishments. Our brains are wired to remember the negative. A survival technique passed down through our ancestors. But recording, acknowledging and celebrating our victories, regardless of size, build the brain’s capacity to recognize the good in believing in ourselves.
- Self- Awareness
Self-Awareness is the leg that gets the most attention in literature and practice. Self-awareness practice is linked to such things as meditation, yoga, breathing, journaling, and even personality and psychometric testing. Self-awareness is our own consciousness of our thoughts, experiences and abilities. Personally, I have undertaken the study of NLP (Neuroligustic Programming) to help with uncovering and developing my own self-awareness and learning the tools to help my clients uncover theirs.
My ability to handle the events of last week ended with me recognizing that each one of these events was alone in occurring. The printer was not cavorting with the wiper blades. Recognizing this and how I approach each event is entirely up to me and completely within my control. And it is a practice. I’m not going to get it right at first every time, but I will show myself grace and compassion to keep trying.
Working…practicing…our self-compassion, self-belief and self-awareness fill the reserves, so we have the capacity to show ourselves compassion when faced with the unexpected. Having a solid stool encompasses the ability to bring our mind and our intention back to being in the very moment we desire to be in. The better able we are to do that, the less time we waste being stuck. Emotional resilience essentially gives us time back, the time we would otherwise spend worrying, frustrated and reactive. With more time, not only can we spend it doing the important things, we head off overwhelm.